Step 4: Maintenance???

Well, as far as updating posts go, I seem to have failed Step 4 after a mere 3 days. But after a brief hiatus, I have returned singing songs of victory! Save a few minor pitfalls (an accidental encounter with a butterscotch candy while dyyyyying during a Doctoring lecture; having Hare Krishna lunch with Bernard today -though in my defense only the vegetables and salad passed my lips!) I have adhered to my rules with more stringency than I thought I'd be able to muster! And I've noticed more and more positive increases in energy along the way though there was one interesting side effect that I will share now that was not anticipated:

Food for Thought #3: "You are what you eat", or so the adage goes.
I was speaking with one of my classmates today who was relating stories about a yoga instructor at our studio who embarked on a 30-day Raw Foods retreat. According to her, eating only raw foods led her on a path to becoming very emotionally vulnerable and raw in the process. Now I know I've been sneaking a few boiled vegetables here and there, but nevertheless I've noticed this week that my mood has been out of control. Sure there has been a definite upturn in my attentiveness, and even though I'm not having sex at the moment (*tear*) I can tell there has been a huge increase in libido, plus I've become so much more chipper around people in general. But the downturn to this upheaval of dining patterns is that I have definitely had more than my fair share of low moments this week. Twice I found myself crying in the library over memories that have been suppressed for ages. I find my thoughts wandering to all the fabulous romances and amorous escapades I've been lucky enough to experience and I think to myself that I want to find someone I can be that crazy with again. I don't really think of myself as emotionally needy (those who I've seriously dated are probably laughing hysterically right now), but I've devoted more time this week than probably ever in my life to indulging in thoughts of relationships - I'm ready for an amazing one, when will he come? will I ever get married? when will I ever have children??? And the list goes on and on, a staggering heap of inquiries that even if I know the answer to them, there's nothing I can do about them now. I'm hoping thse feelings will pass sooner than later, though I fear I may be facing my emotional fears for the long haul. And considering I haven't even started to address the real nitty gritty issues as to why none of the aforementioned could ever happen in the current state of affairs, now is a terrible time to need support. Forget about turning to friends for motivation, our block 1 exams are next week and the panick is settling in for all of us. I wish I could kick emotions to the curb for just a few days but I can already tell I'm about to get run over...

Well, if nothing else I can plaster a smile on my face because at least the weekend is almost here and I actually have a date tomorrow night. It should be fabulous, it's going to be with myself :)