1). I am not going to like family medicine
2). no matter how cliched or unwarranted, i will never bore of receiving red roses and being taken out for dinner and wine
3). I am really not going to like family medicine
The only thing that i did particularly care about on my first day of FM was that my attending has a strange semblance to a slightly older and decidedly less attractive Fabio. Complete with once voluminous but still long blonde hair that has seen better days than the scraggly pony tail it's currently being forced into. Oh and also the body of a fallen Greek Olympian. That's not to say I find him attractive in the least, in fact I think my multi-lingual tall, dark, handsome and happily married father of a psychiatry doctor i had was much more coveted in my eyes. I guess that goes to show that I equally crave stability along with persona. For example, said family medicine doc is married and travels extensively, but he has got to be at least 48 and has no children. his office is instead horrifically decorated with a plethora of dachshund paraphernalia. to the creepiest degree. to the point where there are dachshund birthday cards hanging on the walls that read "Happy Birthday, Dad!" Now normally I'm not one to judge on the eccentricities from person to person but this was one i couldn't bring myself to overlook. Odd though, considering my unhealthy obsession with maltese puppies, I guess I just dont find dogs shaped like hot-dogs quite as loveable...
After the disastrous post from last night I am begging whatever muse has taken reign of my literary voice tonight to cease and desist before I send any more garbage off into cyber space. The dinner and wine from tonight has me in no position to be bringing to fruition any ideas that may be brewing...though i have to pose one rhetorical question to the dark and obscure face of the blog reader: Once you cross the awkward line between a balanced friendship over to the side of unrequited desire to be something more, can you ever successfully step back into the safe haven of the relationship of yesterday? I have someone who is a dear friend but judging by actions tonight has overstepped the boundaries I had so vigilantly kept in place for the past 3 years. Caught somewhere between not wanting to lose a friendship but not wanting to fuel the fire, I am retiring my drunken mind to bed. Work is in 8 hours and I can't believe I allowed myself to be duped this evening. What's worse is that since I'm a firm believer that we always know exactly what we're about to get ourselves into, I have no one to blame but my moment-of-weakness self.
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