'Tis the Season...

...For helping those less fortunate and other such charitable actions, but never did I think I would fall on the beneficiary end of things!


Always in the back of my mind and at the bottom of my heart, I had spent the greater part of the last few months trying to keep thoughts of the First Love out of my head. The latter part of the semester for too many reasons amounted to nothing more than a slowly progressive demise of morale and academic drive and an unusually excessive amount of energy devoted to pondering love lost and fearful musings of it never being created again. It seemed like all around me friends were enjoying fulfillment of the basic human desire for companionship and if not, were at least pursuing loftier and selfless goals...While I felt like I was doomed to continuously swirling for an eternity in Limbo Built for One. Worse still, One Who's Incapable of Growing Personally AND Romantically Under the Pretense (i.e. Excuse) of Med School.


After finallllly enjoying the fruits of a newly blossomed amorous escapade (and then realizing after the fact that I probably once again let the situation prematurely sour as a result of my recent acquisition of paralyzingly terrible insecurities), I randomly received a call from The First Love today. Quick to attribute every instance in life to a sign from above my heart soared on the wings of old affections taking flight.

But much like the lofty Icarus whose pride goaded him to fly too close to the sun, the pithy wax of hope adhering my feathers quickly melted and I plummeted ungracefully back to Earth as The First Love ultimately revealed the basis for the call came from none other than --drum roll please-- my MOTHER. Sensing my pathetically ever growing desire for partnership, my tech savvy mother actually resorted to the medium of FACEBOOK of all things to tell my EX that she was worried about me and to call me. The Kicker? Said Ex is also DATING someone so the phone call and attempt at counsel were done clearly out of pity. Good thing I'm so ridiculously jaded and guarded these days that though I brushed the surface of what's bothering me in my heart I didn't subject myself to the embarassment of actually divulging details. But even still..Now I am no stranger to being in compromising situations but that was one blow to the ego that I doubt I'll recover from anytime soon. I'm ready to just crawl back into my hole of isolation and give up on this thing we call love forever.

Merry Freaking Christmas Eve.